Stewartstown United Methodist Church

26 South Main Street,  Stewartstown, PA 17363

717-993-2507

A church for all seasons

It's worth the drive to town.

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Take the Spiritual Gifts Survey

Listen to Faith Story

Wesley Ministry Network

http://www.ummissionaries.org

Youth Worker Movement

The entire United Methodist Church is encouraged to study  This Holy Mystery: A United Methodist Understanding of Holy Communion.  You can download the study or read it online by clicking on the image above.

 

Some Christian Answers for Life Issues 
Everyone has questions. Not everyone knows where to look for answers. Here is a source that can help you start to form the answer you need for life's tough questions. Christian Answers Net

 

Are you struggling with online temptations? 
Ask you self this question, "At the end of the day, can online sex really satisfy you?"

Many are struggling with the addictive power of online pornography. Do you know the tell tale signs of addictive sex? Do you know where to turn for help? You can start here to deal with online sexual temptation.

If you love a spouse or friend who is struggling with sexual addition, there is help for you.

 

Christian Guidance
How Can I Live with Loss? 
     Finding help in dealing with the death of a loved one  RBC

When Trust is Lost
     Healing for victims of Sexual Abuse  RBC

When the Pain won't Go Away
     Some helpful thoughts on the after affects of abortion  RBC

When Anger Burns 
     Dealing with the power of angry emotions  RBC

Finishing Well
     Gracefully living with life's changes  RBC

When Violence Comes Home
     Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse  RBC

Designed for Desire
     God's design for sexuality  RBC

When a Man's Eye Wanders
     Breaking the power of pronography  RBC

When we don't Measure Up 
     Escaping the Grip of Guilt  RBC

When Hope is Lost
     A Way to Deal with Depression  RBC

When Forgiveness Seems Impossible
     Knowing when and how to forgive RBC

When We Just Can't Stop
     Overcoming addiction  RBC

When Help is Needed 
     Some thoughts about the place of counseling  RBC

Twelve Steps for Christians in Recovery 
     Does some one you love have a drinking problem?

On Line Resources for Christians in Recovery 
     Help for addictive behaviors

National Clearinghouse for Drug and Alcohol Information
     Straight facts about drugs and alcohol

Power to Change 
     Encouraging stories 

Seeking wise counsel is a sign of strength, not weakness. 
Going to an able counselor is often the first step in healing. 

Help for Parents 
5 Needs that Must be Met at Home  Ron Hutchcraft

"The principles Ron Hutchcraft advocates are grounded in Scripture and fleshed out in the realities of daily experience. For parents who want to have a better grasp on how to meet their children's needs, this is an excellent  place to start."  -- Billy Graham

Focus on the Family
     Link to well known radio ministry of Dr. Dobson

Current Issues
     A place to start as you think through the issues of the day  Probe Ministries

Social Problems
     Difficulties facing our culture  Probe Ministries

Cults and Other Religions
     Information about cults and world religions Probe Ministries

Cult Awareness Center
     Questions about Cults 

Light Source
     Christian teaching and music on the internet 

Live It
     Guidance for facing life issues 

Crosswalk 

Christianity On Line
 

Grief and Loss

   How to Comfort  those Who Mourn

  How Can I Live with Loss? 

Being of comfort to those who mourn the death of a loved one is a ministry of compassionate love.
 

ABOUT BEREAVEMENT

The word bereavement comes from the words bereave or bereft.   It means to be in a state of deprivation, to be deprived of something very important to one's life, which leaves one feeling desolated and even violated.

ABOUT GRIEF

Grief is sorrow, woe, affliction, tribulation, sadness, melancholy, trial, suffering.  These words  express the particular distress of mind and soul that is felt when someone dies.

Sorrow comes with the ordinary disappointments, losses and regrets we face. But grief is more acute and troubling than sorrow.  It  is apt to be marked by passionate demonstrations of feeling.  Grief is deep sorrow, caused by an unusual loss. 

ABOUT GRIEVING

Grieving is a process of experiencing deep sadness over a period of time. Grieving is not merely a feeling, it is a journey that requires time to complete. It is marked by periods of  sorrow,  lament, distress, and  mourning that often effect all the other areas of life. 

Grieving is a series of painful experiences into which one enters and lives for a period of time before there is healing. 

Grieving is something that can come and go in spasms, lurking for a time before erupting again and again.

Grieving may produce feelings of fear, anger, great regret, guilt, shame, an abiding sense of uselessness, loneliness, an inability to focus, and even a desire to die. 

Grieving eventually ends because we only have so much capacity to carry sorrow and because we are also able to gather new resources for living.

HOW TO BE OF COMFORT

Don't desert.  After the funeral is over there is a tendency to leave the bereaved alone and forsaken.  "Where did everyone go?" is the question of many bereaved people.  "What happened?  Why is no one around?  Did I do something wrong?  I feel like I must have a dangerous disease."

Don't try to fix the pain.  Bereavement is painful.  There must be pain before there can be heal-ing.  The most difficult thing to learn about comforting is to permit the bereaved to live their own pain.  It is one thing to sorrow with a person but quite another thing to interfere with their pain.

Listen with your heart.  Grieving is a matter of the heart rather than the head.  Listening to the feelings of the bereaved is most important, permitting the sorrow to surface and the pain to be openly expressed.  Invite all feelings to surface and listen through the silences.  Your being there is more important than knowing what to say.

Accept all expressions of grief without censoring.  Often there are aggressive feelings ex-pressed, including anger, resentment, guilt and shame.  Sometimes the bereaved feel cheated by God.  Let them be angry.  God understands grief.

Permit the bereaved opportunity to talk openly about the departed loved one.  This is a vital part of the healing process.  Enforced silence in this regard can be very detrimental and prevent recovering.

Remain available.  When death had been ex-pected the bereavement will generally last ap-proximately six months or more.  Unexpected death takes longer, up to thirteen months and more.  Regardless of how long it takes, we must remain available until the grieving subsides. 

Be sincere.  Do not make a pretense at being interested in the bereaved if you are not.  Pre-tense really can hurt.  Think how you want to be treated and always seek to be kind.

SIGNS OF RECOVERING

Here are signs of recovering from grief: 

1.  The person honestly mourns, laments, 
     weeps, expresses anger, etc. doing whatever 
     is necessary to break the emotional freeze to 
     ventilate all feelings of distress.

2.  The person surrenders to the painful 
     reality  of the separation, unconditionally 
     accepting  the fact that there is no turning 
     back, while  turning one's life over to God 
     who leads the way out of the valley.

3.  The person asks for help and uses it.

4.  The person begins to see that recovery is a 
     process requiring time and trust. . . trust 
     that recovering is possible.

5.  The person chooses to do what is necessary 
     to recover.

6.  The person discovers that willpower does 
      not work for recovery,  only surrender 
     does. This recovery is a growth process 
     beginning and continuing with the exercise 
     of gratitude.

7.  The person is able to express gratitude to 
     God for all gifts and mercies given.

8.  The person decides to reclaim life and to 
     live it.

9.  The person develops a new sense of self 
     satisfaction in things accomplished.

10. The person is able to attend to the 
     necessary details of life and living.

SCRIPTURES

bulletBlessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted  –Matthew 5:4
bulletPraise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.  –2 Corinthians 1:3-5
bulletGod is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. –Psalm 46:1
bulletMy presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.–Exodus 33:14
bulletThe Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.  –Psalm 34:18
bulletI am persuaded that neither death nor life…shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  –Romans 8: 38,39
bulletHe will wipe every tear from their eyes.  Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away. –Revelation 21:4
bulletFor you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,  that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.– Psalm 116:8,9
bulletFor God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. –John 3:16

A PRAYER FOR COMFORTERS

O Lord of all mercy,  you are well acquainted with sorrow, grief and suffering. Bring the grace of your mercy to  ___________________ who suffers with grief.  Help me serve you by offering myself to others in their pain. Remain with me so I might be comforter to others.  By the power of your Holy Spirit, bind up all the broken-hearted, heal their wounds. Restore them to the fullness of life; in Christ’s name.  Amen.